


Toxic

by AU_Ruler



Category: Darkwing Duck (Cartoon 1991)
Genre: Bedside confession, Love Confessions, M/M, Whumptober 2020, but darkwing knows, ex shush launchpad, no.22, poisoned, sort of in a way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:21:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27185116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AU_Ruler/pseuds/AU_Ruler
Summary: Launchpad is poisoned
Relationships: Drake Mallard/Launchpad McQuack
Comments: 2
Kudos: 71
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	Toxic

Darkwing took a seat on a blood red couch. After a second of hesitation where Launchpad looked out to the kitchen, his sidekick sat on the couch with him. Though he didn’t sit close. Instead he sat in a place that’d let him see into the kitchen. Which he watched like a hawk. With a sigh, Darkwing rolled his eyes. “I’m sure they’ll bring out snacks soon, LP,” he snarked, annoyed edge to his voice.

“Huh?” Launchpad glanced over to him. “Oh, uh, right, DW.” And immediately his eyes returned to the kitchen. Darkwing could swear Launchpad had the stomach of a trash compactor.

Their host entered the room and Launchpad quickly looked away from the door, turning fully to him like he hadn’t been staring that room down for the past three and a half minutes. (Yes, he counted. There wasn’t much else to do.)

“I’m so glad you could make it, Darkwing.” She smiled at him and Darkwing smiled in return.

“Of course, citizen,” Darkwing said as he leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “Now about that stolen necklace.”

“Oh.” She waved a hand and her eyelashes fluttered. “I’d  _ hate _ to bore you with details while you’re probably  _ starving _ .” She held out a plate with two treats on it. Darkwing raised an eyebrow. The plate was only pushed closer and Darkwing knew he wouldn’t be learning anything more until he took so he suppressed a sigh and picked up the pastry. Launchpad had already grabbed his own. Curiously, Darkwing realized he hadn’t even taken a bite yet though. That was unusual for his sidekick. Normally he stuffed his face the first chance he got. It had a strip of suspicion running through him but he ignored it. This was a civilian, there was no need for that.

Their host looked at them expectantly. Launchpad popped the treat into his mouth with a smile. Now, Darkwing really wasn’t hungry. But it wouldn’t do to be rude. He had a reputation to keep up with the public. And this was one of the first times someone from the public ever actually came to  _ him _ with something stolen instead of the police. Before he could get the treat close enough to his beak to take a bite, though, Launchpad had snatched it from his hand and stuffed it into his own beak. Darkwing gaped angrily at his sidekick who just smiled sheepishly.

“Sorry, DW,” Launchpad said around the food in his mouth before swallowing. “They’re really good.”

“I’ll get more then,” their host said, sounding strained. Darkwing looked over at her. He blinked in surprise. That was a  _ major _ glare directed at his sidekick. Apparently she’d been excited for a great hero like him to taste her baking. The plate dropped to her side and she walked off. 

Once she was in the kitchen, Darkwing turned to Launchpad. “What was with that?” Darkwing snapped quietly. But Launchpad’s attention was already directed back at the kitchen. “LP!”

Launchpad blinked. When he looked over, his brow was drawn low. Worry painted clear on his face. “They were poisoned.” He said it so seriously Darkwing’s brain stuttered for a moment.

“P-poi- _ poisoned?! _ Don’t be  _ ridiculous _ , LP!” Darkwing barked a quiet laugh. “Who’d want to poison  _ me _ ?” And he gestured to himself. Pointedly ignoring Launchpad’s pinched expression. Yes, there were plenty of people who’d take the opportunity to poison him. But those were all villains. No citizen would poison their beloved hero. Not that Launchpad seemed to realize that. He just glanced back at the kitchen before looking back at Darkwing, the worry uncleared. Darkwing sighed. “I'm a hero, even if it was poison- _ which it wasn't _ \- such a small thing wouldn't slow down the terror that flaps in the night. So stop worrying so much.”

Launchpad looked at him doubtfully. Sure, they both knew it'd be the first time he was ever poisoned. But Launchpad was being paranoid. There was no way a  _ civilian  _ would poison him. Now Negaduck, maybe.

It took another few seconds for their host to return. This time she wasn’t holding a plate. There wasn’t anything in the hand they could see. The other was behind her back. Darkwing looked at her with a frown, confused. But Launchpad just straightened next to him. Like he was preparing for something. He could practically see his brain run through possibilities and exits. It wasn't often Darkwing saw Launchpad get like that and another strip of suspicion ran through him. But this was a  _ civilian _ . Not some criminal or secret agent or whatever Launchpad seemed to be worried about. Right? She looked at them and sighed, running a hand through her hair. “You know, this was supposed to be easier.”

The third strip was harder to ignore. As if to specifically mock him for ignoring the suspicion earlier, she brought her other hand into view. In it she held a butcher’s knife. The blade was long and dull. Like she’d had it for years. Despite the fact she looked to be in her mid twenties. “I  _ was _ just going to poison you both and be done with it but your  _ stupid _ sidekick had to eat both treats.” She looked at Launchpad with a sneer. “Though luckily that means he won’t be able to stop me.”

Darkwing turned to Launchpad. Alright, maybe he'd been right. Just this once. Though… Darkwing’s brain turned and his stomach did a vicious mirror of it. If Launchpad’d really been right then he’d eaten  _ poison _ . Poison meant to kill, given the sudden presence of the knife. Not just one dose either, but two. Because she’d given Launchpad his own, separate treat.

And he’d snapped at Launchpad and called him ridiculous. Instead of just _trusting_ his sidekick’s instincts. So sure of himself. One of these days you'd think he'd learn.

Their host leapt toward Darkwing, knife outstretched. It broke him out of his thoughts, but not quick enough. His mind was still whirling that his sidekick just knowingly ate two doses of deadly poison. Thankfully Launchpad’s mind wasn’t as stuck. Almost the second she leapt Launchpad was there, grabbing at the arm that held the knife. She snarled and struggled. But Launchpad had her in a firm grip. He wrapped his other arm around her middle and lifted her so her legs kicked in the air.

“ _ How _ ?!” She spat. “You should be on the ground! Between the two of those pastries that was enough poison to kill an elephant!  _ You should be dead! _ ”

It was incredible how words could stab into his heart. Darkwing actually briefly looked down to make sure she hadn’t somehow gotten the knife between his ribs. Of course the knife wasn’t there. Launchpad had restrained her before she’d even gotten close. He looked at where Launchpad held her wrist, pushing down on it until she was forced to open her hand. Distantly, he heard the knife clatter to the floor.

“Uh, DW?” Launchpad brought his attention back as she tried to elbow him in the face. Darkwing blinked hard once then grabbed his gas gun. Once he had it Launchpad dropped their host, quickly moving to the side. As soon as he was far enough away Darkwing fired. A canister of knockout gas dropped right at her feet.

“What-” the girl started as the cloud circled her. She never finished. Before she could drop like a sack of rocks, Launchpad caught her in his arms. He set her down gently on the couch. With luck she’d be out for half an hour. Which gave them time to figure out what to do with her. For now he just stared at his sidekick. Launchpad straightened up slightly and pulled on his scarf before he chuckled awkwardly. “Uh, DW?”

“You ate poison for me,” Darkwing said finally. It felt like his eyes were glued to Launchpad. To the man he  _ loved _ . Who was supposed to die all because he hadn’t listened to that initial bit of suspicion. Launchpad would die because of him. It was all his fault. When Gosalyn finds out she’ll never forgive him.

Darkwing doesn’t think he’ll ever forgive himself, either.

“Yeah…” If possible, Launchpad looked even more awkward. His cheeks gained a red tint. Like he was blushing. Or- “Are you alright?” Launchpad asked and Darkwing bristled at the worried tone in his voice.

“Am  _ I  _ alright? Launchpad, you're dying! Who  _ cares _ if I'm alright?” Darkwing felt a bit frantic. Immediately after the poison Launchpad’d taken on their homicidal host. Which meant it was acting quicker and that was probably why Launchpad had reddened. “You have to sit down. I have to call someone.”

“DW, wait, no-” Launchpad tried to say something but Darkwing cut him off as he shoved him toward the couch. It didn’t work very well. But Launchpad needed to  _ sit _ , dammit. He needed to rest.

“I’m not hearing it, LP!” Darkwing snapped. “That lady said it was enough poison to fell an elephant and I’m not losing you before I’ve even summed up the courage to tell you I love you.”

“Wait, you love me?” Launchpad blinked at him.

“Do you really think this is the time, LP?!” Darkwing flushed. That wasn’t something he really meant to say. Though, if Launchpad really  _ was _ … No. No, not now. Launchpad would live a good, long life if he had to force him to he wouldn’t lose him so early in life. Him and Gosalyn wouldn’t lose someone so immensely important to them like this.

“You said you loved me,” Launchpad repeated, awestruck. Almost breathless. The poison was acting too quickly!

“ _ Yes _ ,” Darkwing said distractedly as he pushed again on his sidekick’s chest. Thankfully Launchpad was so dazed he went down easily.  _ Terribly _ , it was probably because the poison was affecting him even more. How much longer until he went into shock and really began to die? Would they have enough time to go to the hospital? He glanced to the landline next to the couch. Maybe SHUSH! They  _ had  _ to have great doctors who'd be quick and know what to do, they took care of secret agents after all!

He moved to grab the phone but only went a short distance before he realized there was resistance. His eyes dropped to his hand. It was in a tight grip. Slowly he looked up till his eyes met Launchpad’s. There was a dopey smile on his sidekick’s face. The grip loosened. Launchpad’s eyes slid closed. Darkwing felt ice frost over his veins like vines in winter. “Launchpad?” There was no response. He shook the hand in his gently. “LP?” Still nothing. The hand slid from his grasp and to the floor.

Darkwing scrambled for the phone, putting SHUSH’s number in by memory. The second it clicked he started to talk, not giving the answerer a single word in edgewise. “Please, my sidekick’s been poisoned he just passed out we need to go to one of your SHUSH hospitals now,  _ please _ .”

A voice on the other side answered as he took a breath. “Who is this?”

“Darkwing Duck!” Darkwing said. “I’m a consultant?” He didn’t have time for this. “Double O Duck is dying!”

There’s an agonizing few seconds of silence. Then the voice came back. “What’s your location?”

Darkwing gave it to her with an additional ‘make it fast!’

Surprisingly, SHUSH was there in under five minutes. This was the first time he’d ever have to call them for something like this. Normally he was the one injured. If it was bad enough that he actually needed to go to the hospital, Launchpad took him. He’d never really thought about how long it would take SHUSH to show up to take someone to the hospital. But he would’ve imagined longer than five minutes. Though this wasn’t the time to look a gift horse in the mouth.

When they got to the hospital, Darkwing couldn’t help but pace in a corner of the room Launchpad was currently in. He half expected to be kicked out. But the doctor, the only other person there, didn’t. Instead he just sighed.

“Calm down, he’ll be fine,” the SHUSH doctor told Darkwing, waving a hand. “This isn't the first time he's done this.”

“What?” Darkwing stopped dead in his tracks. But the doctor did not elaborate nor explain. Not long after, Launchpad stirred. Immediately Darkwing was at his bedside. Launchpad woke slowly. First there was just a movement, then his eyes opened bit by bit. The doctor appeared on the other side. And  _ laughed _ . At Launchpad. The noise had Launchpad’s eyes drifting over to him.

“Can't keep your poison down anymore, Double O?” The doctor asked Launchpad with the voice of someone who’d had years experience with treating Launchpad for this exact thing. Except as far as Darkwing knew, Launchpad had never been here. Not to be treated. There’d been a number of times where Launchpad was there when he woke, in an uncomfortable chair by his bedside with his hand so close to Darkwing’s it almost physically hurt to not take it. But  _ never _ as a patient. Though, maybe in the years he’d been an agent. It sounded like he’d been poisoned almost constantly.

“Launchpad?” Darkwing looked down at his sidekick.

Launchpad flinched just slightly. Then he coughed awkwardly, slowly looking away from the doctor to Darkwing. “Hey, DW.” His voice was a little bit raw. The sound of it almost brought Darkwing to tears. He felt a  _ whoosh _ of air leave his body in one long, relieved breath. Like he hadn’t really believed Launchpad was still alive despite the steady rise and fall of his chest until he’d spoke.

“Are you okay?” Darkwing asked, pushing aside his confusion at the doctor’s words in favour of being sure his sidekick really was okay again. The doctor chuckled as he exited and Darkwing turned a brief glare on him.

“‘M fine,” Launchpad assured him. He squeezed the hand Darkwing hadn’t noticed him take.

“How?” Darkwing had watched the whole time. The doctor had barely done anything to Launchpad.

“This isn’t the first time I’ve ever been poisoned,” Launchpad confessed quietly.

“Buh?” Darkwing said.

“Uh,” Launchpad looked down at their hands. “SHUSH requires all their agents to build up immunities to all known poisons.”

Darkwing blinked at him for a long moment. “What?” So… Launchpad really had been poisoned consistently. He had  _ immunity _ to poisons like the one he ate so he  _ wasn’t _ going to die and Darkwing freaked out and told him how he felt like a  _ fool _ .

“Yeah,” Launchpad laughed slightly. It almost sounded strained. “They say it’s a safety precaution, but I’m pretty sure it was also so Dr. Bellum could test the effects.”

“You mean I almost gave myself a heart attack worrying for nothing?!” Darkwing asked angrily.

“You were worried?” Launchpad asked.

“No!” Darkwing snapped. Something in Launchpad's expression fell and he backtracked. “Yes! Okay? I was worried, of course I was you're my sidekick.”

Launchpad gave him a wry grin that made him glare in return. “And because you loooooove me,” he said as if he was a child. Darkwing didn’t respond. He didn’t appreciate being made fun of. If Launchpad didn’t feel the same he could just say it and get it over with. That way Darkwing could leave and dissolve into a pile of goop on the couch in the tower in peace. With the firm knowledge he’d destroyed one of the most important relationships in his life. Hopefully Launchpad would still come see Gosalyn. Despite the bumble Darkwing had made. But as he worried Launchpad’s grin softened. The hand wrapped around his squeezed gently again. “I love you too.”

“Y- you do?” Darkwing asked.

“Of course I do,” Launchpad said softly.

Darkwing nodded slowly, sitting down next to Launchpad on the bed. Looking amused, Launchpad tugged Darkwing backward to lie with him. Strong arms wrapped around him and pulled him close to Launchpad’s side.

“So what was it like, developing immunities to all those poisons?”

“I got sick a  _ lot _ those first few months,” Launchpad chuckled. And Darkwing joined him, a lot of relief leaking out in that action.


End file.
